My Chemical Romance Assassinate Count Dracula

"Gerard! Guess what!" cried Mikey Way, the bassist for the band My Chemical Romance and the brother of Gerard Way, who was the lead singer,"I just read The. Best. Book. Ever!"
Gerard sighed at his younger brother's enthusiasm, and put down the book that he had been reading. He looked across the living room to Mikey, "And what book was that, Mikey?"
"It was called Dracula! You have to read it! It's about -"
"Wait, you mean you've never heard of Dracula?" asked Gerard incredulously, "Mikey, don't you remember? I used to idolize the Count! I wanted to be him!"
"Um... When was this?" asked Mikey.
"Oh, I don't know... It must have been elementary school... you must remember!"
"Sorry."
An exasperated look crossed over Gerard's face, "Ray! Frank! Bob!" he called, "Come hear! Listen to this!"
Into the room walked the two guitarists of MCR, Ray Torro and Frank Iero, along with Bob Bryar, the drummer.
"What is it, Gerard?" asked Bob.
"Oh, nothing, really, it's just that my own brother didn't know who Dracula was until today!" screamed Gerard.
"Oh." said Bob.
"I see." said Ray.
"Who cares?" asked Frank.
"Who care - What?! I - Omigod!" wailed Gerard, "I can't believe no one can see what a big deal this is!"
"It's not like you can't lead a succesful life without knowing who Count Dracula is," said Ray matter-of-factly, "I mean, look at Mikey!"
Everyone turned and stared at Mikey, who grinned broadly.
"Ray? That was... Maybe not the best example." said Bob.
"Hey!" cried Mikey.
"Whatever. The point is," said Gerard as a hurt expression crossed his face, "Mikey didn't care enough about my childhood interests to pay attention to who I idolized!"
"Oh, Gerard, if I had known..." said Mikey sorrowfully, "I'll tell you what. I am going to prove to you how much I care by building a time machine!" He looked around to see if everyone was astounded by this marvelous plan.
"Mikey?" asked Frank, "How is building a time machine going to prove to Gerard that you care about Count Dracula?"
"Oops. I guess I left that part out." said Mikey, "I will use that time machine to transport us back to the time of Count Dracula, and Gerard will get to meet his hero!"
***
The next day, Mikey called the entire band into the living room again.
"Now, I know that my idea to build a time machine didn't get the greatest response," he began, "In fact, some of you even doubted my ability to build such a thing." here he looked directly at Frank, "And then the issue of Count Dracula being a fictitous character came up." He shot a dirty look at Ray, "But, I am proud to say, that after much hard work -"
"It's only been a day." Ray pointed out.
"...After much hard work," continued Mikey, "I have built a time machine!"
With that he pulled away a sheet that had been covering a large item in the corner of the room.
"Mikey?" asked Bob, "I hate to judge, but... It's a cardboard box."
"Indeed it is!" said Mikey, "but no ordinary cardboard box! This cardboard box will carry us through the winds of time -"
"It's 'sands of time'." said Ray helpfully.
"...Through the sands of time, to Transylvania!" finished Mikey.
"Yay!" Gerard cried, clapping.
"Let's go now!" said Frank, hopping into the box.
"All aboard!" said Mikey, clanging a cowbell.
"Ooh! Where'd you get the bell?" asked Bob.
"That's my secret." said Mikey with an air of supiriority.
After the entire band had sqeezed into the box, Mikey said, "Shut your eyes now!"
"Why?" asked Frank.
"Just... Do it." said Mikey, gritting his teeth.
***
After a few seconds, Mikey told the band that they could open their eyes. What they saw astounded them
"Oh." said Gerard reverently.
They were in a small Transylvanian village, at one end of which sat a large, sprawling mansion. The peasants that scurried from house to house looked at the band curiously.
"Mikey! You really did it! You really made a time machine!" cried Bob in excitement.
"Told ya. Oh!" exclaimed Mikey, "That must be the Count's mansion!" he pointed to the mansion at the end of the village.
"Excuse me," said a peasant man in english, "Can I help you?"
"Omigod!" cried Gerard, "You must be Jonathan Harker!"
"Um, no." said the peasant, and backed slowly away.
"Hello, dearies," said another peasant, this time a woman, "But you wouldn't be needing a place to stay, would you? My inn is -"
"Omigod!" cried Gerard, "You must be Jonathan Harker!"
"Well, I never!" said the woman, and flounced away.
"We'd better get him out of here before he ofends anyone else." said Ray. "Let's go to the Mansion, shall we?"
***
When the band members reached the castle, they were huffing and puffing. Gerard had even broken a stick off of a nearby tree and was using it as a walking stick.
"I'll just knock on the door -" said Ray.
"NO! I wanna knock! It's not fair!" cried Gerard, "He's my hero! Why can't I knock?!"
"Fine! You knock!" said Ray.
Grinning, Gerard walked up to the door, and knocked three times. A fine-looking gentleman dressed all in black opened the door...
"Hello! Who are you?" he asked.
"I'm, uh, Gerard Way!" said Gerard shyly, "Are you Count Dracula?"
"I am indeed." said the Count, smiling. "Welcome to my house! Enter freely and of your own will!"
"High five!" cried Gerard, raising his hand, which held his forgotten walking stick...
...That accidently stabbed Count Dracula in the heart.
"Iiieeeeeeeee!!!!!" screamed the Count. He writhed and squirmed, "What have you done?!" he wailed, and with that, he desintegrated into a pile of dust.
"Oh, no!" Cried Gerard in agony, "What have I done?"
"Time to go!" said Mikey guiltily.
It took the effort of Bob, Ray, Frank, and Mikey to drag the hysterical Gerard back to the time machine. By the time they got back to their own world, Gerard was curled up it the fetal position, trembling and muttering over and over again, "I've killed him. Killed him."
"Gerard!" said Mikey, slapping his brother in the face, "Get over it!"
"Maybe," suggested Frank, "You'll feel better if you write a song about it."
Gerard immediatly stopped shaking and uncurled himself.
"A... Song?" he said tentatively.
"Yes! Now go!" commanded Ray.
Gerard scurried off to a different room to start writing, while the rest of the band looked at each other in amazement.
"I can't believe that worked!" said Frank proudly.
"Oh, he's going to have nightmares about this." said Mikey, shaking his head sadly, "Songwriting can't distract him forever."
"Whatever." said Ray, "The point is, don't take him anywhere in your time machine again, okay?"
"Alright." said Mikey, pouting, "I guess I'll have to burn it."
"Good idea."said Ray.
"Although that was pretty fun..." said Bob regretfully.
"Don't even." said Frank warningly.
"Alright, whatever, I'm going." said Bob sulkily.
The three remaining members watched him go, then set out to burn Mikey's time machine. After that, they lived happily ever after for the rest of the day.
***
The End