Panic! At The Disco Assassinate Pete Wentz

It was a slow day for the members of the band Panic! At The Disco. They were sitting around in the early-afternoon sunlight that shone through the windows of their practice space, which, at the moment, was not exactly being used for practicing...
"Agghhh!" groaned Brendon Urie, the lead singer of Panic!, who had just bean beaten at chess by Ryan Ross, the guitarist, "I don't believe it! You beat me! You never beat me!" a suspicious look crossed his face, "You've been practicing, haven't you? You've been hiding away in secret and practicing!"
Ryan rolled his eyes, "Brendon, I haven't been practicing. Just admit it: you suck."
"Um, guys?" said Spencer Smith, the drummer of the band, cautiously, "Not to interrupt or anything, but I think it's time we found something to do before you guys rip each other's throats out."
"I agree. You guys are scaring me." said Jon Walker, P!ATD's bassist.
"But we are doing something!" cried Brendon, "We're playing chess!"
"No, you're fighting. Now, what shall we do?" asked Spencer.
"Uhhh..." Said Ryan "We could, um, go shopping?"
"Dude, we just went shopping yesterday." said Spencer, "Next suggestion?"
"Ooh! Ooh! I know!" shouted Brendon, waving his hand in the air, "We could..." he looked around the room dramatically, then leaned in and whispered, "Kill Pete Wentz."
"What?" asked Ryan.
"I didn't catch that." said Jon.
"Brendon, I'm all the way accross the room, do you honestly expect me to hear what you're saying when you whisper?" said Spencer crossly.
"I said we could kill Pete Wentz," said Brendon sulkily "The point of the whispering thing is that you're supposed to come closer when-
"You think we should kill Pete Wentz?!?" Asked Ryan incredulously, "If it weren't for Pete our record label wouldn't exist!"
"Yeah!" put in Spencer helpfully.
"I kinda liked his idea..." said Jon meekly.
"You see? Jon likes my idea!" Exclaimed Brendon, "So it's settled! I'll meet you all at Port Of Subs tomorrow so that I can unveil my master plan!"
"You have a master plan?" asked Ryan eagerly.
"Oh, I will, Ryan, I will."
***
The next day, the boys met bright and early at their favorite Port Of Subs location. When they were all gathered around a table eating, Brendon began:
"As many of you know, we have gathered here today in order to discuss the assassination of one Peter Wentz-"
"Woah, his real name's Peter?" Asked Jon incredulously, "That's, like... so weird..."
"Um, yeah. Anyway," Brendon continued, "I have stayed up long into the night, and have decided that the best way to kill him will be as follows-"
"Wait a minute, 'as follows'? What's with all the big words?" asked Jon.
"Jon, will you please let Brendon get a word in edgewise?" asked Spencer angrily.
"Thank you, Spencer." said Brendon, "As I was saying, in order to kill Pete, we will first need to slip unnoticed into his home. We will then pretend to be plumbers sent to unclog one of his toilets-"
"But what if we can't find plumber disguises?" asked Ryan.
"Then we will have to make our own." said Brendon simply, "As you can see, I've thought this all out very well.'
"What will we do once he thinks we're plumbers?" asked Jon.
"The we will hide in his bathroom, until long after he thinks that we have left," continued Brendon, "Eventually, he will need to use the bathroom that we will be hiding in, and when he comes through the door, we will hit him on the head with our plumbing tools." Brendon looked around proudly, "Well, whaddya think?"
"I think that's a great idea, Brendon!" cried Ryan supportively.
"Heh... I liked the part where we get to hit him with our plumbing tools." said Jon.
"Well..." said Spencer hesitantly, "It definately sounds like fun... Let's do it!"
***
The boys rushed out of the Port Of Subs and immediatly sprang into action.
"Spencer! You gather the plumber disguises!" ordered Brendon, "Ryan! You figure out where Pete's house is!"
"You mean you don't know?" asked Ryan.
"Better safe than sorry, I always say!" cried Brendon, "Jon! You have the most important mission of all!"
"What's that?" asked Jon.
"You have to gather the plumbing tools that we will use to kill Pete Wentz!" Brendon told him enthusiastically.
"I'm on it!" said Jon happily.
"Good! I'll meet you all at Starbucks in an hour!"
With that the four of them rushed off in opposite directions.
An hour later, the boys met up again at Starbucks with their various pieces of information and/or materials.
"Good work, men!" cried Brendon, "I'm very proud of you!"
"What have you been doing all this time?" asked Spencer.
"Doing my nails." replied Brendon, "Now, I think it's time we suit up and move out!"
***
By the time the band reached Pete Wentz's house, they were tired, grimy, impatient, and looked just like plumbers. Brendon stepped up to ring the doorbell.
"Hello?" said Pete Wentz as he answered the door, "Who are you?"
"Um, we're, uh, plumbers!" said Brendon, "We need to unplug your toilet!"
"Oh, um, okay, I guess..." said Pete, "I don't remember calling a plumber, but I guess I must have..."
"We'll take it from here." said Brendon firmly as he walked past Pete into the house, followed by the rest of P!ATD.
After Pete was out of earshot, Brendon turned to the rest of the band and said, "Our plan is working perfectly! Now all we have to do is find the bathroom and wait there for a few hours!"
"Um, about that..." said Spencer hesitantly, "Do we actually know where the bathroom is?"
"Oh. Well, we'll find it eventually!" Said Brendon.
After wandering around Pete's huge house for three hours, Ryan meekly suggested that they give up.
"What? And call it quits before our mission is finished? Never!" exclaimed Brendon.
"I actually think Ryan is right," said Spencer, "I mean, what if we never find the bathroom?"
"What? No! Jon! You think we should go on, don't you?" pleaded Brendon.
"Huh? Oh, um... my feet hurt..." said Jon, "So... no. Sorry Brendon."
Brendon opened his mouth, about to launch into a melodramatic fit of fury, but just then, they rounded a corner and saw Pete.
"Who...? Oh, my god! You guys are still here?" asked Pete incredulously, "Here, let me show you the way out." he added helpfully.
Before they knew it, the boys in Panic! were standing outside of Pete Wentz's house.
"Well, that settles that, I suppose." said Spencer.
"To bad we didn't get to kill him..." sighed Ryan regretfully.
"Hmph." said Brendon. "Well, I guess there's nothing we can do about it now." with that he walked away, leaving the three remaining members of Panic! At The Disco standing around dejectedly.
"Do you think he'll be okay?" asked Ryan worriedly.
"Oh, he'll be fine. He's just sulking" said Spencer, rolling his eyes.
"You guys? I gotta go now," said Jon, "See you at the practice space tomorrow?"
"Yup," answered Spencer, "Same time as always!"
After Jon had left, Ryan said, "You know what I just realized?"
"What?" asked Spencer.
"Brendon's ideas suck." said Ryan, "See ya!"
And with that the two walked away in opposite directions.
***
The End.